The Couple's Table
The Couple’s Table is a weekly livestream podcast hosted by Heather Ramirez and Tom Buck. Join us, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall podcast and stuff!
The Couple's Table
Dealing with Insecurities
Creating online is tricky. How do you manage and handle those little insecurities that can pop up and get in the way?
🟣 CONNECT WITH HEATHER —
My Vlog Channel: http://www.youtube.com/heatherjustcreate
My Tutorial Channel: http://www.youtube.com/heatherramirez
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/heatherjustc...
Website: http://www.heatherjustcreate.com
🟣 CONNECT WITH TOM —
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/tombuck
Instagram: @sodarntom
🟣 CONNECT WITH HEATHER —
My Vlog Channel: http://www.youtube.com/heatherjustcreate
My Tutorial Channel: http://www.youtube.com/heatherramirez
My Gaming Channel: http://www.youtube.com/heatherjustplay
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/heatherjustcreate
Website: http://www.heatherjustcreate.com
🟣 CONNECT WITH TOM —
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/tombuck
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/sodarntom
Hello and welcome. My name is Tom and.
Speaker 1:I'm Heather.
Speaker 2:You're sitting at the couples table.
Speaker 1:The couples table is a live stream podcast here on this channel. Join us for better or worse.
Speaker 2:For richer or poorer.
Speaker 1:In sickness and in health.
Speaker 2:Even dressed like pinatas. Pinata If you're listening to the audio version.
Speaker 1:Here's what happened okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I walked in the closet and I was like, oh, I can't compete with this.
Speaker 1:I was like I don't know what to wear today. I've gone through all the bright things. I got this after Halloween, but I was really sad because we didn't really do anything for Halloween. It was like it just kind of cable-.
Speaker 2:Oh, there was a fire. Bird's game yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I would just I just like slapped together like wigs and stuff, and I don't even know what I did. But then I was like next year I'm going to do it right. And then I got an Instagram ad for this like really cool pinata costume.
Speaker 2:This is a sneak preview, then.
Speaker 1:I haven't been able to wear it. It's just been in the closet since the first week after Halloween and I was like you know what I want to do it.
Speaker 2:I almost busted out my shark costume.
Speaker 1:I know I was going to tell you.
Speaker 2:It's just so hot though.
Speaker 1:I might do away with the hood, just oh it's good. Yeah Well, I don't know, we'll see. But it's a whole, it's a whole, like I'm going to show you ready. It's a whole situation.
Speaker 2:It's head to toe. There it is. Can you just do that in the back? This whole stream? Yeah, leave it there it is. If you're listening to the audio only version, I'm sure you could hear the rustling.
Speaker 1:It's like so comfy. Yeah, that's a good one, it's good, it's a good costume. There's no reason, I just felt like it.
Speaker 2:Except you wanted to demonstrate that you were not feeling insecure.
Speaker 1:I like your segue. I like your segue. All right, let's say hi to everybody, or did you already do that?
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody. So Bailey is here first morning afternoon. All Obs is here. Hello, cain, troubles in the house, real Pell Room. Hello, hello, hello. Everyone is saying hi to everybody. Richard is here. Hi, parker Jennings, homestic, mac Insecurity, I'm your man. Today is going to be an interesting discussion, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:No hotlines in the house. What's up? Rainy Cajun, whoa, charlotte Drew, hello, hello, I'm like out of breath and Regan Matheson says made it. Hi people, I did with Jiggle for two seconds and I'm out of breath, and Michael's here taking an editing break and let's see Wish YouTube.
Speaker 2:Oh, cain says Wish YouTube, but just load when streaming starts.
Speaker 1:I thought it did.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's hit or miss. I feel like I've had both experiences, and the lack of consistency is the worst thing is the hypocrisy. Oh, rym Jam loves a new outfit there we go. And K-Wall Comedy Happy Friday and there we go. Oh, and Charlotte's pointing out Ben has assumed his chair for the live. Yes, and everyone loves your costume too, by the way. And Cain is asking, though, if you were a pinata, what would be on the inside?
Speaker 1:I guess I would just have to like have candy right Like on the ready, Like the kids would try to hit me yeah, anyone who has a stick is going to try to hit you. If you could somehow have like a pulley system and be suspended from something. Oh my gosh, that'd be funny. I don't know if you saw this comment. I'm going to find it. Don't put the pop up, pop up, pop up, pop up, pop up, pop up, pop up, pop. This is the music.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:OK, here we go. Ok, if you haven't heard the coolest thing that happened in our household this past week, Was Tom got COVID. He did, but he's tested negative this morning and we're very excited.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was a fun I can move back into the master bedroom?
Speaker 1:Yes, but the actual cool thing that happened yes, you have to tell them about the, the. What's it called A company video? Yes, that comes with this.
Speaker 2:There's a video on my second channel, tom buck, to check out everything I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen it.
Speaker 2:I've been posting a lot about this last couple of days, excited about it. As was alluded to there by Pete's, the custom goalie, mask this right here.
Speaker 1:Look at this thing, look.
Speaker 2:Put it on, there we go, there it is. Look at this amazing it's hard to show all the details.
Speaker 1:It, it. I mean look, I feel the vibe, look, I match with the helmet.
Speaker 2:I mean, we're both fans of you know super bright colors. I don't want to leave it on and get super sweaty and weird, but yeah, there's all kinds of cool stuff. I talk about it all in the video. I got the fire birds logo there, we got all kinds of fun things happening here, and this is actually the result of a really cool YouTube story which I didn't tell in the video that I you didn't.
Speaker 1:I'm surprised.
Speaker 2:So yeah. So what happened was the. I worked with two people to do this a professional designer, who just who we went through multiple revisions to come up with the design and then a professional painter who painted it, because it's not just painting it Like, as you can see, the mask has lots of parts and ridges and holes and stuff, so it wouldn't be an easy thing to paint anyway, but also here I can just set it right here. Oh, where'd we go? We?
Speaker 2:had hit all the screens, there we go. But also having a sorry, I'm going to turn on the NDI there we go.
Speaker 1:Look at this.
Speaker 2:Having a professional painter who. Can you get a blank mask? They have to sand it all down, kind of just like refinishing a guitar or even maybe like a car, and then they have to paint it and then they have to refinish it so that it's strong and durable and, can you know, withstand getting hit by pucks and being on the ice and everything and getting wet and sweaty and all that cool stuff. It's hard to see into these lights, but a lot of the paint is metallic and reflective. We got the audio wavelengths. We got the palm trees they're so cool. We got all these cool like symbols. We got Big Ol Aquabats logo, firebirds logo, precision Basehead initials in a shield On the top. We have all of the Play, pause, rewind buttons like which was my idea, by the way.
Speaker 2:I actually kind of forgot about that, got the palm trees because we're, you know, from the area with all the palm trees, yeah, and it's just super cool, so I can set this there and I can switch back to there. But to tie this into YouTube and the weird world on YouTube, is man, a year, maybe even a year and a half or two years ago, I got a message on Instagram from someone who we were talking about video lights. I think he had done a studio tour video and he was just asking like hey, what are some of the LED lights that I kind of like showed but didn't really mention in the video? And we were talking about video lights and that's kind of it.
Speaker 2:Then we didn't talk again for like a year or more and then I started posting a bunch of stuff about hockey and he messaged me and he's like hey, you know, we talked a while ago. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a professional designer and my specialty is designing goalie masks. He's like I would love to work with you to come up with a design, and so we did, and then he sends he works, it's him and a painter, they work together. Then he sends it to the painter who takes the design from digital format and actually makes it happen in a on a physical thing, which is very, very cool and that's a cool YouTube story. But I didn't want to. The reason I didn't want to share that in my video was I didn't want people to try to like hit them up, like oh hey, could you do me a favor, could you do me like I want?
Speaker 2:if you if you want the work done. They are professionals. It takes a lot of time, effort, energy and years of skill building to get to the point to do something like this. Like it's not a it's usually not a very cheap thing, which is pretty crazy. I never thought it'd have an actual, like my own custom painted goalie mask, which is amazing, so I got to skate with it for the first time this morning, which is really, really fun nor pucks or anything, but it is super fun. I cannot wait to wear it in a game and it's just the coolest thing and it definitely needs to be a background piece in the videos.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like it can't just be sitting on a shelf in the garage.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't have matched with it.
Speaker 2:I know you it is, if you wore it. I don't wear it, though, just cause in case there's any germs left. But yeah, you really says a lot about our taste of colors. Yeah, so that was really cool. That has been incredibly exciting. I know if you're, you know if you're just like, oh yeah, he got a painted mask, it's. It's such a thing, because if it's not something I ever expected and when you do a design, the more complicated the design, the more expensive the masks you have to find artists, find designers and then expect to pay a whole lot of money.
Speaker 1:And it's just this weird circumstance of things where, like, Well, it's also like such a symbol of a journey that never, ever thought you go down.
Speaker 2:It's so cool and that was was really cool. It was working with a designer to do it. He was very it wasn't just like what's favorite color and I don't know do you like a band or something, but it was literally like Lots of back and forth. Yeah, like, where are you from? Like tell me, you know it's almost like there's a.
Speaker 1:It's like a, it's like that person. Really it's a skill set. I feel like to ask the right questions and to figure out, like preferences, because the person doesn't know, like they can't tell you the info unless you ask the right question.
Speaker 2:So it's really cool. And so if you, if you ever watch hockey games pretty much any, any game that would be televised, I'm guessing the goalie would have a customized mask. But especially, of course, like the NHL or the HL level, if you look at the goalie mask there they all have some sort of customization on. At the pro level they get a new one or two every single year, sometimes even more for, like, special events, and it's really cool. And if you start looking like some of them are heartfelt, some of them are cool, some are intimidating, some of them are super goofy, like one of the goalies for the Dallas stars, his on Mario Kart theme, like there's really cool stuff. So anyway, that's been incredible.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that was very cool and that was a cool thing that happened through YouTube.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know right. I mean, who would have ever predicted?
Speaker 1:I know I was trying to segue.
Speaker 2:It was a cool thing that happened through YouTube.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but sometimes there's uncool things that happened through YouTube, like when you have insecurities as a creator.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So sorry, I'm not as smooth as you.
Speaker 2:Nobody could be Segueing into the topic of today's show. We are talking about insecurities, insecurities on YouTube. So one thing I would love to know is you can take that to mean whatever you want and if you've had insecurities and you've dealt with that, I would love and you're willing to share. I would love to know anything you want to share, anything you felt insecure about via YouTube. But this came up.
Speaker 1:How did this come up Between you?
Speaker 2:and I talking.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And we've talked about this a lot. One of the things I learned about myself, I guess like I'll go first right was last year when we were, you know, just sort of reevaluating everything I noticed. Sometimes I would find myself being critical of other YouTubers and other creators, and a part of me Did and does still feel like, well, that critical eye is very important, because I do. If I don't like something, I want to know why I don't like it and I want because I want to know, I want to understand why I don't like it and also then so I can avoid doing it, gotta want to do the thing that I don't like. You know, it's kind of like when I was in my teaching credential program, I had a whole class that taught us not to read PowerPoint presentations, like don't just put up a presentation and read the PowerPoint presentation. And the way that they taught us to do that was by having a class where they put up a PowerPoint presentation and just read it slide, slide, not ironically or sarcastically, but just that was they did, were unaware, and you don't want to do that kind of thing, but a thing I realized Sometimes my criticisms and things felt very valid, but other times, I think a lot of it came from my own insecurities, which could be also even a little bit of jealousy, or a lot of, a lot of, in a lot of insecurity, and I hate to admit it, but it's kind of true.
Speaker 2:And you sort of see, you know, you work all these years to get to a certain point. Where you're at, you see someone who seems like maybe they're they're going better, faster, stronger, you know, than you are, and it's kind of like you feel frustrated and it's sort of okay. Well, instead of being happy for them or instead of looking at how I can improve I'll, I can just be critical and go like, oh yeah, but that's only because they're doing blah, blah, blah and that's lame. I would never do that. So Right, and it's sort of embarrassing. I think it's kind of a normal thing to feel, but it's definitely a thing I felt and it was. It was nice when I realized that, because then I could start getting ahead of it, and when I started seeing things that gave me that feeling, I could sort of step back and go like, okay, is this a me thing, or is there something here that that is like a valid criticism for me to have, and that was a really cool perspective shift yeah, I think it's.
Speaker 1:First of all I want to give you. I commend you for getting to the point. I'm sharing that on live stream. I mean not only recognizing that, reflecting on that and then putting it out there into the whole world, like I think that. I think that says. I mean I don't want to say it says a lot about you, because I know A little insecure share.
Speaker 2:I know this is who you are.
Speaker 1:But I know that this whole journey of you recognizing that I don't know it's an uncomfortable feeling. It makes you feel like you're doing something wrong. You know, going through all that was a process. That's not something that happened overnight, and so I commend you, thank you for for wanting to dig deep, despite the discomfort. I appreciate that and I'm putting that out there. You know, I think it's important because it's like, yeah, I think a lot of people would look at you and be like, oh, he's got it all figured out.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, definitely not. But I want, I wanted to share it because I know, when I felt that way, I felt really bad when I, when I really like, became conscious of it and it sort of was then the thing of like I feel this way, but how does nobody else feel this way? And it's like I kind of think other people probably do. And so if I say that I feel that way, maybe other people are like hey, okay, it's normal and it's okay. It doesn't mean that you don't want to try to understand it or whatever. But at least it's not weird. I think I was being critical of something and I can't remember what it is.
Speaker 1:And then you were like no, well, that was recent. You were like I don't want to complain, but this thing something's bothering me about whatever, yeah, I can't, I honestly can't remember.
Speaker 2:I wish I did remember, but that's what.
Speaker 1:I was trying to explain like well there is. It is important to understand why you don't like something. There was something about content I saw yeah, it was probably on Instagram and I just there was something about it that I didn't like, which to me could be anything, even just from like style, like oh I, you know, I don't like the way this is edited Right.
Speaker 2:That's a subjective personal opinion, but at least understanding.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't want to edit things like that because I don't like it.
Speaker 2:For this reason, all the way over to this person is pulling a scam and like I really hate that and I don't want to do that. I think all those are very valid criticisms. I remember you do, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is no dis, because I don't know who uses this font, but it was on Instagram and it was a podcast clip and I realized I said out loud, like I don't like the captions where it's like one word and or it's a whole sentence but the word that's being spoken is in a different color, and that, that style, that style don't I do that podcast clip, no cuz you're.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, tom does that, which is fine if you do that, if anybody here does that, I'm not saying it's bad, which is why I brought this up, cuz I was like I don't want to, I don't want to Come off as nitpicky or whatever. But then I like what you said, because I I said that I don't like this. I don't know why, but that style of podcast clip with the captions in that very specific style, became so prevalent, to the point of like that tick tock voice, the tick tock lady voice. Who's like hello, this is a YouTube studio well, great YouTube studio that one.
Speaker 1:If you use it, great, I'm not dissing it. I don't like it, though. Right, and it's the same thing with his font, like I don't know. There's just something about it that I think it's just cuz I see it all the time that I, you know, I started to not like it and then I told you, and then I felt bad because I was like, and I'm nitpicking other people's content, I don't want to do that, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you said Well, I don't remember I said the thing about it's important to understand what yes, and I was like, okay, I can draw the line Between, like it doesn't matter whose content this is, it's, it's the style with this. I know there's something about the.
Speaker 2:I think we just don't like further where it was like it had been.
Speaker 2:The example you showed me was like a bro podcast, like a bro down, like podcast thing whatever I don't want to, but it was the kind of thing where, like there had been, especially in the past couple years, were sort of like you just straight up like misogynistic and you know, weird podcast got really popular. You could just sort of put any two bros together, have them say anything and you put this on it and it's like oh, preach, profound and that's that.
Speaker 1:I'm not judging, I don't want to judge. You know, like, whatever you want to podcast about, you probably podcast. What are we podcast about?
Speaker 2:yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm wearing a pinata thing. I'm not going to judge, but I liked what you said because you said it's important to understand like it's not. There is a difference between those same negative comments that we that make us feel uncomfortable as creators that are not helpful, right, and I feel like that could be that I didn't say anything. But then there's also like just understanding why I don't like that, that style, or you know it's. It's again, I'm not judging. You do you make your own, you make your content, but but I just I your face.
Speaker 2:I saw the mail truck drive up and I was like it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1:I mean, they're happy. They're very happy, but yeah so anyway, I, I, I think it is important, just like when you see content you like, you're like, oh, that's cool. It's also like, oh, yeah, that's. I don't know, I just don't like that, so I'm not going to learn what not to do is really important and that's it's funny.
Speaker 2:So, going back to like talking about my teaching credential program, when I first started like before I was doing teaching before anything, I had to do a ton of observations and so my first person that I observed with was one of my friends who's an amazing teacher still teaches absolutely incredible teacher. Watch his class you know several times like okay great, he has like a perfect class. You know like he has everything on control and doing everything for years. You know exactly what to do. Then he sent me to like a couple of his friends classes who are also excellent teachers and is like cool. And then eventually he was like all right, I'm gonna send you Over here. He's like don't be surprised when this teacher is very excited that you're there to observe, because it was someone that no one ever sends anybody to observe. He started sending me to the notoriously bad teachers and that was like oh, because when I was in the classroom where everything is working, I don't know what's working right, it just looks like why it was.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah everything here, and then when you go somewhere where it's not working, you're like, oh my god, it because they're not doing this. This problem is happening. This is happening here, and I actually learn as much, if not even more, by watching the ineffective teacher as I did with the super effective teacher, and so it's kind of the same thing when you learn what you don't like, it can really teach you a lot, sometimes even more than just going. I really like that. I really like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and not in a way that's like you know it doesn't have to be about the other person, right exactly right.
Speaker 1:It's like if you go in the art and go to an art museum, I do this. It's like sometimes I'm like I don't, I don't know why this is taking up so much room in the in the art museum. In the art museum, okay, literally the last time we went to an art museum, there's a whole corner dedicated to like a digital media art piece and all it was was like the intro to a program.
Speaker 1:It's like it was like it was like the basic blender project of blender on a projector and that was the art piece, which Is weird because it's like everyone has access to that when you download the program.
Speaker 2:it wasn't a statement on blender either was like someone just use the default.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, very straight, and that so much real estate in the art museum that 15 pieces that sat with me.
Speaker 2:Weird because I was like the person who made this knows that what they're doing is very low effort, but they know that people are seeing it, are like whoa, whoa, I guess 3d you made this from scratch. They don't know. It's just free blender with free models that you know how and so now you got a whole wall.
Speaker 1:I don't want to judge.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm judge, all right.
Speaker 1:Cain says, for a long time was in. For a long time I was in fear, paralysis. Then tried chasing the numbers when local events took my channel off. Now come to making the videos I want to like serving a very niche audience number will numbers will always be low, but providing a value service for a new screw and have never been happier creating there you go.
Speaker 2:that's the personal, the personal side yeah, hey, josh, no, do you? See, was that time Heather both looking mighty fit these days. Sorry, I can't skip over I know long journey.
Speaker 1:He really wanted to read that one.
Speaker 2:We've done a lot of work over the past year.
Speaker 1:I was super insecure about my knowledge of my setup and equipment. I used to lead an entire project of seeing another cater to it. Better, not anymore. Everyone should have a chance to be heard.
Speaker 2:It's crazy, and you're at a point to get. I think about you all the time in terms of like, like. Nobody can do what you do without like.
Speaker 1:Right, nobody could. Just an average person couldn't just do what you do. Yeah, I remember trying to learn to play the drums and at first I was like really bad, you have passed the point.
Speaker 2:And I remember hitting a point where I was like, okay, even if I don't feel that I'm perfect, or there's way better drummers somebody who's never played the drums can't sit down and do this.
Speaker 1:Like this can only be accomplished in practice and experience. There's experience there that's reflected, there's a style, there's you know, and yours is like it's not even like that's a pretty low level.
Speaker 2:My example You're like way up Because of the number of reps you put in.
Speaker 1:Rymdjam says. I think my biggest insecurity is like why make this video and nobody cares what you think about this thing? Another big one is imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2:Preach, I get both of those. I understand both of those.
Speaker 1:It's definitely a process of learning. Michael says I'm insecure because I worry I'm not being personable enough. I call it rolling a 12 for charisma.
Speaker 2:I mean this, one of those things my impulse is to say because you're worried about being personable, that means you're going to come across as personable. It's like someone who's like I don't know if I'm going to be a good parent. With the fact that you're worried about it, you're fine.
Speaker 1:Same time, feeling took me back from releasing my first solo record years ago. In the end I just said, screw it, I wanted out, I wanted out of the feeling in the beginning. Don't suppose you have advantage. You said, speaking of podcasting. When does the next season of the enthusiasm project start again?
Speaker 2:It's supposed to start let's say supposed to, because it's been a weird week. It's supposed to start first Monday of February, so I'm actually supposed to record it tomorrow.
Speaker 1:It's kind of a crazy weekend, though.
Speaker 2:It's a crazy weekend. I also have been like it's video version, video version of people calling it. I am really coming to the realization I don't want to do a video version. There's a million reasons I should and I don't want to.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get one thing, and so it was actually earlier today I was thinking I might just call it and not do a video version because, regardless of what would be smart to do for the podcast, I don't enjoy the workflow for that specific podcast. This is a video podcast and it's completely fine, but that one there's something about it, I think, because it's so personal. I really love being able to sit down and share my thoughts without thinking about cameras and lighting and graphics and editing and all that kind of stuff which would just I found myself not looking forward to recording. And then, as soon as I thought, well, what if you just don't? What if you just call it and you don't do a video version, I suddenly was excited about it and so I feel like that might be the right call.
Speaker 2:And I was even watching a video from Becky and Chris, like their first video of the new year, and they talked about why haven't we done our podcasts in a while, and they even said we're just going to do audio only because the workflow, and especially now that I want to do video because YouTube is now so podcast compatible, but at the same time, because YouTube is podcast compatible and can take RSS feeds of audio only podcasts. Maybe I don't need to do the video version to get the YouTube benefits. So anyway, that's what I've been at. Haven't 100% decided, but I really I feel like the video version of my podcast is a should and I don't want to do a should. Amen.
Speaker 2:But I legit feel insecure as somebody who talks a lot about podcasting and live streaming and likes this stuff. Why wouldn't you have a video podcast? It's a. I do feel insecure about that.
Speaker 1:I mean, you do. You See, this is the thing If we? What if I said the same?
Speaker 2:I know all these things, but I'm just telling you how I feel.
Speaker 1:If we flipped places. Okay, since a lot of us, myself included, deal with the just overall insecurity which I feel, like there's many reasons, even for me. I can't tell you how many times in the past two weeks I have started a vlog and not finished and I keep asking myself why do I not finish? Why some days I finished and then other days I don't finish and I don't know. Because I know that fatigue is not. I feel like that's an excuse, because there have been days where I've four hours of sleep. I've still made a video, so obviously that's not the reason, but I was doing some bedtime reading. This is a mandatory book for anyone who is a content creator or any kind of creative anything. It's called the Creative Act. We've talked about it on the couple of days before.
Speaker 1:It's by Rick Rubin, but there's a chapter that I happened to just open up to yesterday and it's called the Abundant Mindset.
Speaker 2:I honestly would read the whole thing, but you can literally turn to any page and just read any line and it's like relevant.
Speaker 1:But I feel like this. I'm just going to read like one thing about it. Okay, so a river of material flows through us. When we share our works and our ideas, they are replenished. If we block the flow by holding them all inside, the river cannot run and new ideas are slow to appear.
Speaker 1:In the Abundant Mindset, the river never runs dry. Ideas are always coming through and an artist is free to release them with the faith that more will arrive. Let's see, in the Abundant World, we have a greater capacity to complete and release our work. When there are so many ideas available and so much great art to make, we are compelled to engage, let go and move forward. The recognition of abundance fills us with hope that our brightest ideas still await us and our greatest work is yet to come. We're able to live in an energized state of creative momentum, free to make things. Let them go, make the next thing and let it go. And with each chapter we make, we gain experience, improve our craft and inch closer to who we are.
Speaker 1:And I really like that, because I don't know what my block is. I think part of it is who the heck is going to want to watch this, or I'm kind of tired, so whatever I'm going to make is probably going to be blocked anyway. So it's not even why bother that kind of sentiment, but going off of that feeling like there's ideas all around. The other thing I've been thinking about lately is you are the only person who can make whatever you're going to make, even if you think it's blah, and the fact that you're the instrument taking all of your ideas, experience, style, personality, perspective, voice, whatever your individuality and creating whatever it is that you do create. That's you sharing your gift with the world. You are putting it out there and the more that you do it, it's like the more that you're sharing your gift.
Speaker 1:And I like that approach because it takes it. It's like we're not even talking about numbers anymore. We're not talking about views, subscriber count. I'm the only one who can make this video. Even it doesn't matter what I think about it. I'm the only person who can make it. And isn't that worthwhile enough to put it out there, even if it does have an impact on a single person, because that would not have happened if you had not created that video? I just want to hang out in that thought.
Speaker 2:I think that's a good place to hang out in. I like that a lot.
Speaker 1:I'm going to need reminding though.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's a thing too, your vlogs. If there's something you need to do, whether it's make a vlog or I don't know, called someone to make an appointment, whatever, and it just keeps moving from day to day on the to-do list and never gets done, there's usually a reason. Why is there this block? Why am I not? What do I not want to deal with that this is bringing up and it's usually something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's another line in this chapter that says it's dispiriting to complete and share a work you've lost connection with. So this is approaching it from like you're spending two years on a single video. You've probably disconnected.
Speaker 2:Or I would imagine too, if you think about, I had versions of this when I would sometimes be scheduled so far out in advance that a video- yes, you're not even that person anymore. Yeah, there have been a couple of times where I would release a video that was made like three months before because it just kept getting pushed. It was at the end of the thing. It kept getting pushed, the topic was still relevant, but by the time the video came out I was like, wait, I don't even though it's a good video.
Speaker 1:I don't remember. You make studio upgrades.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the studio doesn't look like this anymore, like what is happening, and, yeah, I didn't feel the same connection as when it's like here's what I just finished putting my heart and soul into.
Speaker 1:Audio hotline says finding line between criticism and jealousy is tough. I've definitely caught myself being critical when in reality I was jealous.
Speaker 2:It's very tough to recognize.
Speaker 1:Yeah level up with Mike. I'm insecure because I'm not Banjir or Tom Buck and I love doing gear reviews. How can you ever measure up? Great quality content I feel is much better than mine, so why bother?
Speaker 2:I feel the same insecurity because I'm not Banjir, I'm not Gerald Undone, and so it's like I don't.
Speaker 2:I can only think I can only compare to you guys like you, bart Tom is my biggest, but I feel exactly the same way, and I feel like all I can think of sometimes is what this video is missing. And then what I tell myself is you know, if I'm making a video about something that someone like Gerald or Banjir has already covered? They kind of already did all the, they did the hard part right, like they covered all the in-depth Right, that's been your thing lately.
Speaker 2:I feel like Tech stuff, so I can just refer people to their video and talk about it. How I want to talk about, which, for me, is so much less about like, let me tell you every feature, every performance thing, every nitpick, and more about contextualization, which is here's why I'm interested in this. Here's how I use this. I might be completely ignoring I've had my Roadcaster Pro 2 for almost two years at this point, since before it was officially released. There's features in that that I've never used and never will use. Does that mean like I don't know anything about it or shouldn't have it?
Speaker 2:No, I think of like Adobe Photoshop, because it's such a big program and people use it in such different ways. Literally no one, including the people who make the program, knows everything about every part of it, and that doesn't mean anyone has a lack of knowledge. It just means like it works differently for different people. And I think just contextualizing, then don't make the audience expect, at least in my mind. Don't make them expect like this is a full in depth super, all the knowledge. But this is what I think about this thing and that's going to be perfectly valid enough, right there.
Speaker 1:I want to copy says if you don't want to do a video, don't do video. Keep it fun for yourself, so you enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's definitely, I definitely a lot of videos. I'm like I feel like I should make a video about that, but I don't want to.
Speaker 1:Charlotte says I should do an audio podcast, but the idea makes me raging. Maybe.
Speaker 2:I'll do a video podcast and say see my work, so we do. Well, that's what we do for this show.
Speaker 1:And you're still trying to get the confidence to post my first content, even typing hello, and this message makes me feel insecure. Oh, I'm glad you did it.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you put the message out there.
Speaker 1:Yes, If it's your first content ever, what I would say is just like do that. Do something like the 10 day tackle. The 10 day tackles a challenge that I did and had people join, which was basically like make 10 videos in 10 days, like one video per day for 10 days, because I feel like as a super beginner, a lot like you can very easily talk yourself out, but when you do the 10 day, then like you'll have a whole set of new questions and ways of looking at it.
Speaker 2:You'll solve problems yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of it is like just the doing something new for the first time, like even us playing hockey was like I was so scared yeah, I was so scared for our first class. It's just a lot of like that discomfort.
Speaker 2:I'm not invalidating how you feel. Yeah, I mean, the hockey thing is a good example, especially if someone was never involved in sports and it seemed like everyone knows what they're doing. I remember before, like the first class, trying to like sneak in the locker room early when things were closed just to see like where's the locker?
Speaker 1:room.
Speaker 2:How does it? Okay? Where does it work? Where do I put my stuff? All this which I felt really dumb about, and you know, of course. Then show up on the first day and everyone knows what they're doing, and then you know months later. I'm talking to people who are awesome and super good players and seem like lifelong athletes. They said the exact same thing where they're like oh my God, I had to come in here on like a public skate and sneak into the back so I could find the locker room and I was like, oh, everybody feels the same way, it doesn't?
Speaker 1:Everyone feels like, if you're definitely at the beginning, I think all of us probably had to make a couple of videos before that first one actually got published. So Mike says. Another insecurity is how other channels can crank out videos weekly and it takes me two weeks to make a video that I'm comfortable releasing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so hard to look at. You know, and I know you don't know what other you know do they? Have an editor? Do they have a full time job or not? Like what is the situation that allows people to make what they make so often and what's their workflow and how they come with ideas?
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 1:It's hard because it's like, obviously, like when we're all alone in our heads, like we will focus on. I think it's human nature for your body, your mind, to protect you from what it thinks is danger, right, so, like, if you know, I think it's natural for you to suspect and like, compare and feel bad or whatever. But if you can rationalize, like there are people who are on a slower publishing schedule and doing it fine, you know, like you can choose what to focus on. But it's like having to check yourself and obviously this is easier said when it's a third party and not you.
Speaker 2:It's always easier to tell someone else what to do.
Speaker 1:But it's also recognizing like, okay, this is a human, like a natural human instinct, that's, you know, trying to protect you, but it's like there's no danger, bro, I don't know. Okay, tom is an avid listener of your podcast. I want to say audio is just fine, bro, I'm there for Tom, Thank you. Well, boost my consistency was hosting scheduled live streams. Promising people will be there is a great way to keep on track. Ever since I stopped my live streams, man, I have not been consistent.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So yes, oh, that's cute. Audio hotline says Mike, you make great content, dude, I was just watching you the other day and your knowledge and experience is very valuable. You're an amazing addition to the audio community. There you go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it gets kind of that same thing. The fact that you're worried about not providing enough value, not having enough info, probably means you're going above and beyond because you care about that, whereas you know other people really do. There are people out there who do just want to make a video to get the ad revenue. Couldn't care less really what's in the video, or fill in a sponsor segment or something, and they'll just read whatever, do whatever, no real thought about how it will serve the audience. And so, even if you feel your stuff is imperfect, the care that does go into it makes it genuinely outstanding and it's your own thing. And at some point, if not already, there will be people who are like I can't do what Mike does, I shouldn't.
Speaker 1:But also like another thing that I've learned with YouTube is that it's so big that you actually might, because you do it your way and you have your unique perspective, you actually might be the gateway to your niche, yeah, which is. I know that's weird, but like there's so many people who go to my tutorial channel and it's like their first tutorial about YouTube that they're watching and it's mine, it's like dude, there's so many. How did you find?
Speaker 1:that you never know who's going to die with your personality, your style, whatever, yeah, I definitely get that a lot Like oh I, you know there's a lot of YouTube, you know tutorial content, but I come to you because I like the way that you explain things you know, so it's like just keep doing. It's not even about just the info.
Speaker 2:It's so much about the person. Yeah, the style.
Speaker 1:Hazan, one of the reasons I haven't made a video in months is the insecurity of why people would watch my video and comparing myself with others in the niche.
Speaker 2:That seems to be such the common one.
Speaker 1:I think it's everybody. Why would anyone watch?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's very normal. I'm not trying. I'm not trying. I don't want to get into like let's solve everybody's insecurity. I'm trying to reassure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we all feel that reassure. Oh, photoshop and illustrators, they're both huge, yeah, you can't learn you.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've used Photoshop for over 20 years and there's stuff from like you could do that. And that's even not even considering all the ways it's constantly updating and growing.
Speaker 1:Room Jam Tom. That is why I value your videos a lot. Your videos, from my perspective, are more practical problem solutions or creative ways to use a tool versus a spec sheet.
Speaker 2:Thank you. That means a lot, because that's what I'm trying to do. I don't I really don't want to be the spec sheet person. That's like you just go to the manufacturer's website. It's going to be more accurate than me anyway.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry, Reagan, Did I? I missed his comment. Oh no, I'm not ignoring you, I promise.
Speaker 2:We just get flooded with so much.
Speaker 1:Let's see Hasan. As much as I love live streams, mostly to see what the setup looks like, 90% of the time I'm just listening to the video podcast while doing chores, so video podcasts are not worth it that much.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's like this one is fine.
Speaker 1:I relisten to ours at the gym, so I'm definitely not watching. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, and that's the key, who's going to sit and stare at an essentially static shot for 50 minutes or 60 minutes. But for mine it goes into the mindset of making the show, and for me I just have a very different mindset when it's oh, here I found all your stuff just doing audio versus adding in the thing of video.
Speaker 1:I'm going to highlight you, Reagan, because I skipped you there we go that outfit Just give a nice compliment on that outfit. I know and I just skipped it. Sorry, reagan.
Speaker 2:Kind words That'll show to be kind.
Speaker 1:Melanie's here. Hey, melanie, good seeing you yeah.
Speaker 2:And there's there's. There's a thing I've noticed, so here's I'll share another one security, okay, okay. Or something that I've been able to catch myself with.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I in the past have, you know, paid attention to the size of other channels.
Speaker 1:Okay, I believe all of us have yes.
Speaker 2:But okay, yes, and if there's, you know, you kind of you sometimes sort of have like a group or a peer group or almost like a class of like. Okay, creators started kind of growing at the same time and sometimes people you know go ahead, fall behind like whatever, a cohort, a little bit an unofficial cohort, and I noticed there's sometimes where, like I in in the past, I have looked at people's channels and thought like I hope they're not too far ahead of me. Oh, and that's not good. I don't want. I don't want to feel that way and I also definitely don't want to feel like, oh good, I'm a little further ahead. I don't want that feeling.
Speaker 2:And so what I started doing was catching myself, because I'm curious a lot of times when there's someone that I haven't checked in on a while or I think, oh man, they had this video that really exploded Like how did, how are they doing? And I want to check their channel. I want to make sure, before I go to anybody's channel homepage, that I only want to be happy for them. I'm either just curious or I want to be happy, like how big is it? I found a channel yesterday where the video was like unreal production value and it was the guy's first video on a channel with like 2000 subscribers. Obviously he had audio video production experience, because all the comments are like can't believe this is a first video. I was like obviously first video on this channel, but it's definitely not the guy's first video. But you know that I was kind of shocked.
Speaker 2:I was watching the video, it was so good. I was like obviously this must be a new channel. I haven't seen that has like a million subscribers. Definitely wasn't, and that's kind of fun. And I want to check people and go like, oh my gosh, they hit 100,000. They hit 10,000. That's awesome. Like I want to check somebody's channel to feel happy for them and excited for them, not to feel jealous or insecure. And so if I find myself going to click on a channel, every time before I clap, click on anybody's channel, I think why am I doing this? And there are times where I realize it's it's out of insecurity or jealousy and then I just don't check it, I'm not going to look at it, and they're, fortunately, I'm happy to say, most of the time I go okay, it's for a good reason. I want to check their channel, but I don't know. That was just another thing.
Speaker 1:Another thing I commend you on for recognizing and sharing. I think that's a big one. Because I think it's a big one, because it's a hard one to admit.
Speaker 2:It is. And there's a thing too, like hitting the 100,000 milestone was unreal and I I still can't believe that happened. And there were, like several friend channels around me that kind of hit it around the same time, either a little before or a little bit after, and some of them Really kept going yeah.
Speaker 2:It's not even close. It was hard. I initially felt like. After doing that, I was like okay, I don't think I need to ever check. This is a milestone I didn't ever expect to hit. Anything else from here is just icing on the cake.
Speaker 1:I don't even pay attention to it.
Speaker 2:But it's hard to. Just when you're not even thinking about it, those thoughts creep in that you're like oh, then I'm just admitting what a terrible person You're not terrible.
Speaker 2:There are times where I have in the past, where I like to say in the past because I feel I've gotten a lot better about this, but where I would go like, okay, here's someone, their channel grew twice the size of mine in half the time, or whatever. Let me look at their total views. Oh, their total views are half mine, and then I feel like I don't want to feel that way.
Speaker 2:I don't want to feel that way. I want to be very excited for somebody. I want to. Somebody else's victory is not your loss or your defeat.
Speaker 1:Say it for the people in the back.
Speaker 2:Their success, especially on you. It's not them or me. It's not me or you.
Speaker 1:That's the thing about YouTube is like it's not this selective pool of this many people and they only have this much attention, so it's like we're all taking from the same pool. No, I bet all of us that are creating content have unique viewers that have never seen any of our other, any of your content or your content. It's like YouTube is big enough, there's so much to go around, and someone else's like when does it mean that like has no bearing on your channel whatsoever?
Speaker 2:It's not related and it's. I think, it's natural because, as a human, you want to, it's the same thing of like if I make more videos and want the channel grow more, and then sometimes it doesn't, and then there's channels who publish like. Mike said channels who publish one video a month or something and they blow up and it's like it makes you feel like you're doing it wrong as a human you want to.
Speaker 2:You know, okay, I work this many hours, I make this much money. If I work twice as many hours, I make twice as much money. Like you kind of like these concrete connections between things. And so you look at, okay, my channel is doing this. A channel of similar size should be, you know, comparable in some way, but they're not even in the same niche, they're just not and just sort of recognizing that everybody's their own journey and their own, their totally own experience, and it has no bearing positive or negative on you. I think it's very important, yeah.
Speaker 1:Mike says thanks for this episode. One thing I realized how much it helps to support each other than let a competitive spirit rip each other apart. I love this community, reagan says. When I think about it, content creator lifestyle is insecurity built in so deep it's like the inevitable byproduct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so weird, you're just grasping for like you know, I think it's a very strange thing to be a content creator and it's so new and it's I mean, I was just listening to a podcast, the new episode of criminal that it was like just 50 years ago. The idea of the new American woman like this is what she looks like, and this is what she likes and this is her lifestyle and like we now, every woman has to like, aspire to slim cigarettes?
Speaker 2:Yeah, carbatele fins.
Speaker 1:It's like it's crazy that that we just, you know, in the same lifetime we can all be our unique selves and, like I think we can all agree that you know, there there isn't one like perfect American woman or like type. You know what I mean. And it's like, I think, because YouTube is so new, people are going to are going to do what people do, which is go into it with these kinds of things, and I'm glad that you know. I'm glad that we're having this conversation. I'm glad that I feel like YouTube overall and content creation overall are having these conversations. I think it's getting a lot better. But yeah, there's no prep for this. There's no prep.
Speaker 1:There's no like you know, how do you come in Unless you? You know, I don't know, your parents were like Hollywood actors or something, already kind of bracing yourself for everything to come you know it's, it's, it's tough.
Speaker 2:But I didn't know. I have noticed, since I had I started realizing a lot of these things last year, like in the spring and summertime, and since doing that and since trying to like identify that and, you know, tamp it down and not let it dictate stuff, it has been really cool. So a very cool byproduct of that is being able to then celebrate the wins of others, like almost as if they're my own, like with the same excitement, and that feels so much better, yeah, and it's also like it's also like that that person's success is like a proof of concept.
Speaker 1:You know, like it's a win for the space. You know it's a win for YouTube creators overall. Like it's like you don't know how that's also going to, how that is also affecting like the platform. And you know, I don't know, it's just.
Speaker 2:Well, it's just. It's just seeing something where it's like someone that I'm rooting for had something positive happen, and feeling happy about that. Yeah, it's a good feeling, it is yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard though, because I can see how you know it's like saying like you know. It's like telling a depressed person just like be happy. Yeah, I mean it's not something like I know it's not as easy as just like I mean it is and it isn't. You know it's like yeah, it is a choice to be happy, but it's hard sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's also not.
Speaker 1:You know, Ab says Heather, you're so right, Thanks for giving Tom his flowers, even though he doesn't want to take them. Someone else's success doesn't mean you won't have success.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, audio hotline. Definitely having support of similar creators is absolutely essential. I would probably go crazy without talking to other audio channels. Ab says this woman will never wear a dress. Your win is our win. It's a win for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Rising tide lifts all ships right.
Speaker 1:That all ships ride the tide.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I've never heard it said that way. Rising tide lifts all ships.
Speaker 1:All ships rise with the tide.
Speaker 2:I've never heard it said that way. Really, I'm excited for your, I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1:My word of the year is abundance, abundance, abundance. And I want to just like. There's an abundance of ideas, there's an abundance of people whose content, no, there's abundance of. You know there's viewers who would benefit from watching your content. Would you know, be positively impacted by your content? And even if it's just that one person, but it like changes your lives. That's what I want to focus on. You know You're going to do a dance, so work on progress.
Speaker 2:She's going to do the abundance Wow. I didn't mean to undercut this really meaningful point that you just made.
Speaker 1:I really didn't know where you were. I thought you were at abundance dance and I was going to do the dance, and then, as I, you caught me with.
Speaker 2:All right, You're just. I like that. All ships rise with the tide.
Speaker 1:Okay, there you go.
Speaker 2:That's true. Either way is fine, oh man. Well, I'm trying to think of my insecurities.
Speaker 1:What do you even talk about yours?
Speaker 2:We just talked about a horrible person. I am for like 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:I mean because you know what, honestly, like my insecurities, like lately, are. It's not even I was. I was so far low that it's not even other people. I can't even like look at other people because I'm so much in my own way that I can't even I'm not even there, like once I'm standing I'm probably. I could probably like look at what other people are doing, feel bad about that.
Speaker 2:But right now I just feel bad about myself.
Speaker 1:I look forward to that I'm getting. I'm getting better, but yeah, it's like so. I haven't told anybody this yet, except for Tom. But for February I'm doing a thing called full out February, which is basically just my mantra for February. But I just want to go full out. I want to create to my maximum potential. I want to feel like I'm creating at my best and like just being my best as a person. Overall, I'm going full out. I don't know what that means, but I'm excited about it. You know like I don't know if that's like a vlog every day or trying my, you know trying to make Instagram reels or whatever, but I know that I'm the biggest block and I don't know. I think the insecurity does come down to this. I don't have anything worth sharing, which sucks Cause my whole mission, my whole thing was like everyone has a story worth sharing.
Speaker 1:And I got to the point where it's like this is worth sharing, bro, Like this is boring or why or whatever, and it's like I know that all of us, if we got into a room and now we're frozen, so that's cute.
Speaker 2:As long as you can still hear us.
Speaker 1:Hello. Oh, why are we stuck?
Speaker 2:I was just. I was literally just thinking wow, isn't it cool that the internet has held up this whole time?
Speaker 1:It's cause you had that thought.
Speaker 2:Cause I had that thought. I don't know. I feel insecure about my thoughts.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I don't know, we're stuck. I don't remember what my thought was. Now it's an audio only podcast.
Speaker 2:You're talking about full out February and you wanted to get out of your own way and you know you felt a way that was contradictory to the thing that you preached to others, the whole mission statement that everybody has a story worth sharing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Yeah, we're just screwed. I just like I think, like um, I'm pretty sure I'm Okay, you still hear us, so we're frozen, okay. Okay so we're just going to end like this, or we're going to end with this, but yeah, okay. If you can hear us, let's just finish up the audio is still going.
Speaker 1:If you want to join me in full up February and just like we're all just going to support each other and go full out, and just like we're I just want to do. I want to create where I'm not. I'm going so fast. I can't even second guess. I'm going so fast. I can't even look at what everyone else is doing. There's an abundance of ideas and I want to make them all. That's my thing.
Speaker 2:I like that. There's an abundance of ideas and I want to make them all. It's like a channel slogan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like let's go, heather, just create there's an abundance of ideas and I want to make them all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I just it's like you're going too fast or blur. Oh, that's scary All right, Tom, I got to say I think we are kind of similar except for YouTube success, but we are too hard on ourselves.
Speaker 2:I think a common thing probably between most of us in this chat is we're probably too, hard on ourselves.
Speaker 1:Melanie says now I feel insecure about my thoughts.
Speaker 2:Okay, so they can hear you. They can hear it oh.
Speaker 1:I'm sure the best.
Speaker 2:Yay, and then hopefully it doesn't leave to melt down. March and antisocial label yeah, hopefully not.
Speaker 1:Sorry for that. I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm noticing we're frozen in E cam, so I'm wondering if it's like the cam link doing something or but I get like can't even change the camera in E cam.
Speaker 1:Like how do I do that it?
Speaker 2:seems that we're just troubleshooting live, but I know, but it's fun.
Speaker 1:Something's going on in E cam. Oh K-Wap comedy is full up for February. I love it. I'm doing community theater production and I'd love to blog it and blog it.
Speaker 2:Blog and blog it.
Speaker 1:Blog and blog it I like it. How do I change the camera, babe?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I guess maybe that's our sign to clear the table then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, here cam link camera A no.
Speaker 2:I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1:I know we're stuck in.
Speaker 2:Sorry guys, we'll just wrap it up.
Speaker 1:All right, we're going to wrap it up. That was fun.
Speaker 2:So thanks for being here.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you I think the next time it will be February, so we will have started full of.
Speaker 2:February. Yes, it will, it'll be February 2nd.
Speaker 1:Well, there you go. We'll already be going, so fast.
Speaker 2:I hope she can even catch you on camera. I know You're not even going to be able to tell All right guys, all right, have a safe, happy, healthy, fun. Rest of your week, enjoy your weekend and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:We'll catch you next week. Bye, bye.